So. I robbed a bank.

DIARY

Not really.

However.

I just had the most hard-core dream, probably of my life, in which I robbed a bank.

I want to write as much as I can right now, before I forget anything. A lot of the cause-and-effect, which was relly intricate, is already lost.

I remeber we were in the second-to-largest city in Wyoming (whatever that is)... somewhere in the western part of the state, near where my friend Hallie lives. Somehow we were supposed to do whatever we were going to do wit hour friend (and castmate) Maggy, but for whatever reason, she wasn't there. She had to bail at the last minute. By 'we' I mean me and Colin McFaul.

Moreover, our intention wasn't to rob the bank at all. I mean this. I believe our goal was to talk one of Colin's friends from FIST (a scav hunt team) out of robbing the bank, or if necessary simply aid his mistake. Actually, wait, this detail I think is coming back. It wasn't someone from FIST. It was Evan, who is a fellow judge. Evan wanted to rob a bank to cover his student loans. He had drive out to Wyoming because, he figured, the further from home and civilization, the better. Colin and Maggy and I had followed, under the pretext of delivering the backpack with his written threat, etc., and for holding the money, but we really wanted to talk him out of it.

It is important to note that this was so unplanned, from my perspective, that I didn't even have an alibi. I wasn't supposed to be attending a 'street reunion' at the Tesler's, in Flint, at which my absence would have been conspicuous, since I had helped orchestrate the whole thing.

Colin and I tried to meet Evan at his motel, but he wasn't there. We figured he had already gone to the bank, so we'd have to intercept him there. Maggy got too nervous and decided to hang out at a restaurant while Colin and I went on to stop Evan.

I remember vividly, hiding on an expressway overpass. The towns was next to the mountains, and it was autumn, overcast, threatening rain, with a cool breeze and a slight mist. I was suprised at the size of the town, and the number red and blue flatbed pickups rolling into town, and along the exit marked "DOWNTOWN."

The When we got to the bank, Evan wasn't there... he had gotten nervous and backed out. Colin and I were in this considerable-sized bank, with the security guards looking at us suspiciously, and Colin wearing Evan's backpack that included a bunch of ink proof plastic bags and a note that read "I have a bomb." One of the guards began walking in our direction.

Colin made a split-second decision to go through with the robbery himself. He walked briskly up to the nearest teller, unzipped the backpack, and slapped down the note.
I made a split-second decision to support him, and turned on the guards, telling them I had the bomb strapped to me, and another in the backpack, or some such BS. We traded off, Colin and I, between watching everyone else at the bank and grabbing the money from the tellers. I don't think it is very realistic from here-on-out, because we managed to keep everyone in line, even though we didn't have any real weapon, plus we felt awful threatening these people, and were probably pretty unconvincing. Somehow we weren't caught on camera. Somehow we kept our fingerprints off everything. Somehow police hadn't been summoned when we left the parking lot (without anyone able to get our license plate no.) five or seven minutes later.

Colin and I immediately drove into town, both exhilerated but understandably scared-as-shit. He mentioned that Maggy would've been floored that "we actually went through with it." I was completely preoccupied with how horrified my family would be, and whether or not I'd be able to work on my novel, which sometimes requires a calculator to go through some pretty intricate mathematical equations, from prison. But somehow, we made it to the local Meijers/Walmart knock-off, and went in to buy some French breat. At some point, Colin leaned over and muttered to me that he wondered why we hadn't been caught. I told him I didn't know. He asked where I was going to spend all of my newfound money. I said "Nowhere. We aren't going to mention this to anybody. ANYBODY. We're going to put all of that money in a bag, and hide it under the floorboards of some old house, wait a decade, and then slowly deposit it in our 401(k)s over the course of another decade." I don't remember how much we grabbed. $400-500,000.

I think the first part of the dream was somewhat realistic, however, I have a friend who robbed a number of banks, and thinking of his stories, his successes and failures, I can't imagine that Colin and I would've gotten as far as we did. I am also a little suspicious of the pretext that put us in the situaiton of "having" to rob a bank. The nature of the situation kept us from having to worry about being "decent people." At least in all the major ways.

I should note that the comments do work, apparently, but they flash an "error" sign at you after you enter them, and sometimes won't appear for a day or two. Sorry...